FuturisTic~

So many thing happened last week..Well,to summarize it let say, I've gone to two different interviews, tutoring my cousin, get my thesis hardbound,went back to melaka to submit my thesis, spent a night in melaka, went to see En Raja and back in KL again on Saturday. Plus, I went to Kelab Tasik Putrajaya last nite accompany Hanisah for a wedding recption~hmm quite a week aite?

and somehow it feels like today had been so far forward from the date of my interviews.waiting for the answer and like hell,i hate waiting~knowing that u r in a vulnerable situation..my,i hate this situation.Ready to crumble~well not really crumble but somehow i did feel frustrated.It's kinda funny though.When u still struggling with ur study and books, u fight and compete to get the higher and the better marks compare to ur friends. U want to be known as the best. And sure did all those competions wear me out.and when i somehow figure that i can walk free from that kind of stress now that i've done my learning session,i'm totally wrong.

Somehow i still feel the urge to compete with them in term of securing a good job, a decent well known position.And guess what, bila sampai time macm nih, baru terasa betapa kesal dulu x struggle giler-giler punyer and score a so much better marks~but then, they said that ur pointer is not everything.Yeah now u tell me that my pointer does not mean so much,it's ur atitude,it's how u prenst urself that's count.oooh Please lah~~since i was in a kindergarten, soalan yg pling selalu orng tanya, 'dapt no berapa dlm kelas?' 'Kelas ke berapa masuk?'

now when u done with ur degree, with not so very great result they said start saying,'relax thing will go well' like duhhh~year of years been provided with the idea that only with great result will u have brighter future,now they say, the word 'relax'~who they try to fool?Hmm seems like i had been even more emotional over this matter right?

i don't know~maybe sumhow, at this point of life, i'm feeling more pressure than i thought i would face. Since i was a little girl i want to have a decent job, have people look at me and respect me. Now when i'm done with my first degree, still somewhere i feel like there's still an empty hole inside of me waiting to be filled.

my mum thought that i'll be wasting my degree if i don't or did not apply job in engineering as i'm a graduate studnt of engineering.but then i don't know why,lately i feel like getting a job in engineering is more like a bonus to me rather than a must-have job. I've completed my degree, though not so very great but i did past far better than my expectection~ I did managed to reach my goal which i had set when i decided to go for the engineering study.

so now, i'm trying so much more to venture my potential as i believe i can do more.I have more of myself that waiting for me to be discover. maybe the realization come a bit late but yet i'm sure that i still can manage it as i'm still young and energetic. At this time,I think that it is not so very bad for me to actually go and work at any department of a company~I'm willing to learn and venture the new experiences.And as expected,not so many people understand that~

sigh~walau macm mana pun,rezekei kn tuhan yang tentukan.Apa yg ak u boleh lakukan hnyalh usaha. memng ak mahu bekerja dlm bidang kejuruteraan,tapi ak tak menolak rezeki sekiranya ak ada peluang untuk mendalami bidang lain~





having my first degree done