Sempadan~

Membina sempadan~sepanjang hidup nih, seringkali ak diingtkn utk mmebina smpadan..berckap pasal semapdan,of course berkait rapat denagn hubngn sosial~tambah lagi,ak dilahirkn sbgai permpuan,ternyata batas dan semapdan memang sentiasa berlingkar dan bertali arus dalam tiap lafaz tutur kata dan cara perlakuan.setiap lngkah dan gerk disertakan ingatan dan syrat yg nyata membataskan ak dalm melakukan sesuatu..

Tmbhn lagik dijolok lagi dengan kata-kata yg gadis melayu,wanita timur,perlu sntiasa menjaga tata susila dlm pergaulan..huh~wuteva..sumpah!sungguh! ak tak bermaksud nk menyalahkan smpadan-sempadan ini. mungkin adakalnya ak rasa sebal dan geram kerana didikat denagn peraturan2 yg adakalanya buat hasrat ak terhalng.Tapi bila difikir dan dilihat semula dimana ak berdiri sekarang dan memahami dan percaya denagn ajaran Islam,ak akui,batasan yg diletak bertempat dan berasas.Sungguh ak akui ak bersyukur sebab mama n abah x pernah lupa utk selalu ingtkn aku tentang semua itu..biarpun ak bukn seorng yag sempurna dan memanglh mustahil utk mengatakn ak x pernh langsung mengabaikan semapdan2 itu,tapi ternyata,pada hari ini,disaat ak berdiri ini, ak masih boleh merenung kembali refleksi ku dicermin itu dn tersenyum bangga dengn diri sendiri~

Sepanjang hidup nih jugak,ak juga terlalu kerap membina sempadan.Sempadan hati~smpadan yg ak maksudkan nih ak lakukan tanpa ak sendiri sedar~meletakkn smpadan dan mengahalang orng lain dari cuba mendekati dan memahami diri ak..meski pada mulanya tujuan smepadan dan dinding nih ak bina sebab ak takut terluka atau sakit lagi dek kerana kenagan lalu yg sungguh menyakitkan..tapi i end up hurting myself hurt even more than i know just becoz i want so much for them to break into my wall but i'm so stubborn that i myself had blocked all the care n love they offered~

sampai satu hari, ak terfikir,kenapa mesti orng yg ada disekeliling ak nih perlu menerima kesan atas apa yg ak lalui pada masa lalu?kalu kelukaan dl yg buat hati ak skrng sekras batu,kenapa perlu mnghukum orng yg wujud dalam dunia ku skrng?bukn yg slah si dia yg dahulu melukakn?kenapa nak kena mnyusahkan orng lain demi sidia yng menyakitkan?

ak tak mahu lagi sempadan itu terlalu teguh dan tegap di situ~ak menghakisnya sedikit demi sedikit~mmng ia perlukan masa.tapi ak x tahu yg kini ak tak takut lagi.ak mungkin x mampu merobohkan dinding itu sekarng.tetapi ak pasti akan sampai waktu yg kelukaan itu terubat dan my eternal happiness will come~sebab ak masih tidak mahu berhenti mengahrap dan masih berusaha,menwujudkan yag terbaik utk diriku kerana hidup ini terlalu singkat untuk dibazirkan dengan kekekcewaan dan kesedihan~

Music of the day:

Daniel Powter-Best of Me


Quote of the day:

Kedewasaan ~

Salam~

and as usual,ditengah2 kekalutan hidup nih lah aku memilih utk meluangkan waktu mencoret sepatah dua dalam 'ruang jiwa maya' milik ak nih..hihuhi hmm skrng nih dh stat minggu xm..in fact dah 3 minggu pn final xm week nih stat..cuma subjek yg ak amik br stat xm last saturday..next xm would be on wed, fri..last two paper would be on the next following monday and wednesday~

come to think of it, next week is where i'll be having my FINALE paper sem xm of all my semester xm in UTeM..my goodness,c how lately i had become so melancholic and 'jiwa-jiwa'..hahah mebe sebab still somehow deep down inside it still kinda hard to accept that i finally reach to another stage of my life without me myself come fully aware of it~

hmm cepatnyer masa berlalu..betapa dulu waktu umur jadik dua angka,hati berbunga2... bahagia sgt~:) 'kita dah besarlah'..heboh dok kata kat orng lain yang umur kita dah jadik 2 angka,dah bley kuar dari kategori 'kanak-kanak ribena'..lepas tu biler first time dapat pkai kasut 'high heel', muka berseri-seri..'kita dh remaja'..excited sgt nk jadik umur puluh2 plak..umur belas2 lah bljar n tempuh byk sgt menda2 yg kekdng tu x terbyg ak akn tau~but then that's the process of life we called 'experience' darlin~and of course all those experiences lah yg dah create ak yg sekrng..

ak yg berumur 22 tahun 11 bulan 3 minggu..hhahah nah,amik umur puluh2 yg dinnti2 sgt tu..rupe-rupenyer biler dh jejak umur puluh2 nih, ap yg ak rasa mmg x sama dgn apa yg ak pikir ak akn rasa biler umur dh cecah puluhan nih..dan agak segan sbnrnya biler nk ngaku yg sbnrnyer mmg ak nk sngt kembali ker zaman muda mudi dl..isyh2 teruk gak ak nih..dh bunyi cm x reti bersyukur plak..

hmm mebe sbb pada umur cmnih,br tau yg bersama usia yg meningkat datang jua tnggung jawab yg perlu digalas..sebab umur yg skrng nih,ak x lagik dipnggil kanak2 ribena..ak jugak x dpnggil sebgai gadis remaja lgik dh..dan biler golongan mak2 dah mula libatkan ak dlm perbualan diorng, n org dh mula bisik2 tnya biler nak dapat rasa 'nasi minyak' ak, then only i wonder,naperlah dulu sangap sngt x sabar2 nak sampai umur puluh2 nih..hahah

maka dngan itu maka bermulalh hidup ak yg terpaksa + harus + wajib+ redha utk mula matangkn fikiran..berfikir untuk orng lain juga dlm apa jua yg ak buat. walupn sbnrnya byk juga masa yg ak bazirkan dlm peringkat 'denial' + x percaya sebb kena bertindak dewasa dalam banyak perkara..kalu orng kata peringkat remaja zaman yg sukar, ak percaya yg usia skrng jugak antara tempoh masa yg payah utk ak..

hahah betapa mlm nih ak jadik sungguh melankolik~ahhah wut can i say,xm week can act turn a person 360 degree..hahahh apa pun,utk hari2 terkhir ak kat utEm nih (mmg doa ak nih,grad dgn jayanyer~aminn!) i'll try my best..hidup mmg perlu serius,tapi hati pun perlu senang selalu so at the end of the day semoga kejayaan ada di setiap hujunG usahaku~aminn

Quote of the day:


SonG of the daY:

Miley Cyrus- the climB

FormuLa Bintang (*)

hmm..i've been usinG the same titLe in my YM status lately..it's kinda reflect my situation right now..taking my study week at home,alone~yeP totally alone,parents n my siz gone to work...atim plak study week kat shah alam,so it's only me n my dearie laptOP yg ade rkat umah..

walu sebnrnyer,kalu ikut perncgn,ader 3 subjek yg ak nk study time lepak umah nih,nmpk gayanyer baru satu subjek jer yg ak pegng..ntah naper rasa malas sgt nak pegng notes n ulang kaji..mak aih tlonglah tuhan,gantikan kerajinan ak wat benda2 lara' nih ngn wta ulangkaji~aminn..ak ade rsatu hari satu mlm jer lagik kat umah sebelum balik melaka semula n start having my final sem xm~formula bintang-->formula mencari kerajinan n kesungguhan serta fokus utk wat keja2 berfaedad..well bak kata AF,'mUnujU puncaK'..huhu

staRT to list down so manythings i want to do during the holiday~hmm nih bukn cuti sem lagik dah..huhu well let say semntara ak blum keja nih,my to-do list..hahah syhh nih baru prncngn..doakn berjaya~aminn..will update later..'my wish'

quote of The day:


song of the Day:

Nickelback-Gotta be somebodY

CLosinG~

dgN izin AllaH,ak kire dh menutUP tirai cerita 'formal education' aku selama 4 tahuN study kat UteM hari nih~~phew..mmg time cmnih jugaklah rasanyer cm cepatnyer masa berlalu..ari nih pun byk gak repot + asgnmnt nk kena submit..and of course the most challenging task for the sem,my PSM2.!!huhu dah submit pun tadi report nyer..

phew~mmg lega betul rasanyer..rasa nak senyum sampai telinga..eheh kalu ikutkan mmg lah x bley lagik nk senang lenang sngt sebab perjuangn ak nk mnyudahkn degree eng yg ak dh kejar dlm 4 thun nih belum berakhir ari nih..tunggu ak dh kompem dpt grad br bley menari samba ria masa tu~huhuh tapi yg pasti,skrng nih rasa bahu ringanlh..

kalu nk dikutkn,mmglah risau lagik..yerlah,ntah betul ke tak report ak,ntah ak explain dlm report tu orng faham ke tak..nnti presnt aper ak nk ckp...bley ke ak jawab soklan2 masa presnt nnti..ak bley smpaikn ker apa yg ak dh kaji2 selama satu sem tu..tapi kan,kalu nk pikir sumer menda tu,mmglah sakit kepala x sudah..huhuh terlalu pikir pasal future kepala bley mereng gak..huhu bak kata en akramin tu, setakat kena hentam 10 min,redha sudah..hahha x yah takut nk presnt..consider diri cm nk bercerita @ berkongsi pengalamn biler time presnt nnti~huhuh

tp biler pikir2 betullh tu..kalu pikir cm ape yg en akrmin ckp tu mmg ada logiknyer..somehow,ak pn terus rasa cool n selesa skit...sbb kalu nk ikut rasa takut @ cuak ak nih,mau pengsan smpai masa prsnt nnti..skrng nih pun pkir pasal presnt,dada rasa nk pecah..huhu mama ckp doa byk2..minta tolong allah..kiter dh wat yg terbaik..hmm betul2 setuju sgt tu..minta doa dilapangkan dada n dipermudahkan urusan..moga segalanye berakhir dgn baik jua..aminn~

song of the daY:

Jai Ho- PCD + A.R Rahman


Quote of the daY:

in The Mood for loVe?

I'm In the middle of my 'giler-report' time rite now~have to submit the full draft of my PSM2 this friday..which only another 48 hours +- dr time i write this blog entry~huhu funny enuf,i still have some times to go surf the net and write this ntry?(giler per ak nih?huhu)..jumper this one sonG sung by rascal flaTT- Bless The broken Road..My wut a very romantic beautiful love song i ever heard..hahhah karat plak mood tgh tulih report nih..huhuh btw,njoy~

"Bless The Broken Road"

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

[Chorus]

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

Lewat wakTu itu~

hmm the final week at last had arrived!kire this is the last week formal education utk sem nih..or perhaps insyallah utk final year ak study kat UTEM nih~mak aih,mcm x caya..tapi that's reality..taburan krja yg perlu submission mmg berjela..as i mentioned before,life as a student..nak wat cmner..tabah jerlah..hmm senarai nama utk penilai FYP2 pn dah kuar..utk gnati Pn ruzY yg dah flY ke UK wat PhD is En Nizam Rahman..hmm no comment lh ngn di atu..tapi mmg cuak..sebab ak tau yag dia mmg byk pngalaman n knowledge pasal bidang nih...dah lah pn Rohana as a second examiner pun bely tahn gak level of curiositynyer..adohai..berdebar ak di buatnyer..yag tmbh sngal tu,ak nih sendiri,smpai hari nih still blum siapkan lgi chpter5..ak sbnrnyer nk b3etul kn chpter 2 n wat chapter 5 n 6..hmm kalu ikutkan x daklh byk sgt utk chpter 6 sbb nk wat kesimpulan and suggestion jer..tapi mau mkn 2 hari agk..dh tu kata nk renovate chpter 2..lagik 2 hari..ak pun ada lagik 3 hari 3 mlm je rnk setelkn sumer tu..hahah mmg kena giler tekadlah aku..nih bley lagiklayan movie,kuar pi tgk una kat muar..ahhah sempoi..nk wat keja nih..doakn ak sukses selalu key~aminnn..

song of the day



QuoTe of the daY:

I'Ll be alrighT~

I slept very well last nite i supposed..done with chapter 4 for my FYP. Already submit to Pn Su my handworks too..ingkn biler dah submit chapter 4 i'll be lepak-lepak malam tadi..tapi funny enuf, i had spent some time to actually reworks other chapter from the first fyp..hahah rajin plak dah~huhuh

Well mmg dh x lama lgik pun life as a student secara formalnyer akn berakhir jugak..mlm smlm lepas setel rework,ak pack2 brg coz my parent would come and visit my sister kat Muar,so diorng akn singgah jumpa ak gak..ingt nk hntar barang blik dl..well,x lh semua tapi nk hntarlah jugak mana yg bley..x muatlah kancila ka tu kalu sumer bnda nk dibawa blik skaligus nnti..huhu tgk2 brg yg konon2 nyer skit tu,rupenyer mmg byk pun..ahhah itu baru penyulingn pertama..mmg akn adalh a few trips jugak rasanyer nih..hahahh

wut to say..yerlah masa dtg dl mmglah x byk mana brg..tapi lepas tu asyik beli n tambah jer,mana x menimbun gak..huhu sepnjng pg nih cuba utk donlod citer hindustan yg dah lama giler ak cari, "Hum Tum" lakonan rani mukerjee n saif ali khan..request kat jiwang.org,tp ader 16 parts lh plak..byk gilerlah..hahha ntah baper zaman ak nk tunggu donlod tu..tenet pun bukn spnjng masa cepat...gasaklah..nk save duit punyer pasal..hahah

next week bersusun keja n tasks kena wat..start dgn submit assgnmnt CAE,test2 CAE, project report AMP then OSHA asgnmnt 4 n CAE nyer lab report..haa nasiblah assgnmnt 5 OSHA n lab report CAE tu bley postponed smpai 17/4...18hb stat final xm~biler dah stat final xm..mmg hari akn terasa pergi terlalulah cepat..ooh ak luper plak nk mention yg next jumaat tu jugak date utk submit FYP2 ak..huhu x sabar sbnrnyer tunggu hari tu..sebab hari tu mcm pre-ultimate freedomlah bg plajar ipta cm ak nih..huhuh

well,still lah rasa cuak gak..risau kalu ak sngkut kat mana2..x dapt grad..masaklah aku~huhhu sedey tul ler..jap2 tu cuma kalau..so meaning to say,i just have to work hard and giving up all of me lah..hahah i'll work for it to happEN!yeah!ey,doakn ak ek~sama2 kiter success..huhu

Quote of the day:


Music of tHe daY:

Rascal Flatt-My wisH

LiViN LiFe~

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